Friday, December 31, 2010

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

The end of another year! So many things are going through people's mind right now.For some,they are happy because they have had a wonderful year,for others it is tales of woes and disappointments.
Whichever category you belong to,count your blessings instead of your losses and you will be surprised to see that despite everything,God has done a lot for you this year.
The mere fact that you are reading this article alive and well is enough to appreciate God for,remember many lives have been lost during the year.We must not always relate blessings to money and material things alone,at least you did not starve throughout the year,therefore thank God for sustenance.
What of your family? at least something worthwhile must have happened to someone during the year,appreciate God for it.Carefully analyse the last twelve months and you will pleasantly surprised that you have had a great year after all.
BENEFITS OF COUNTING YOUR BLESSINGS;
1,It boost your morale,restore the joy you need to celebrate the new year.
2,You are able to recognize the areas you need to focus on for greater fulfillment.
3,It brings you closer to God,because the Lord loves those who appreciate him.
4,You are able to encourage others.
5,Finally,remember; when you are grateful for the little you have God will do more for you.
Therefore,start counting your blessings now,you will be surprised what the Lord has done!!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

GIVE,AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!

This is usually my favorite season of the year,there is so much excitement that is almost infectious.There is much expectations from family,friends, colleagues and loved ones.
Unfortunately,many people do not realize that they have to do more of giving than just waiting to receive.And do not say that you have nothing to give,because there is so much in you to give:love,care,joy are things you can give that will cost you nothing.
Giving is not always about money and materials things,but it is also necessary to spend your money to make others happy.Do not withhold your resources,use it to bring joy into the lives of those around you and you will surely receive more.Your rewards may not be instant,and might not come in the same form,but it will surely come when you need it most and would fulfill your heart desire.
The following are those you can reach out to in this festive season:
1,Family
2,friends and colleagues
3,The homeless,motherless.
4,The elderly
5.The physically challenged
6,Whoever you are lead to by the spirit of God.
Please do not wait for people to give to you first before you give and do not be tired of giving, even when it seems not to be appreciated.God will reward you! So give love, care,material gifts,talents,money,even a smile!Happy celebration!!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

In every relationship,situations, patience is needed to succeed.There is virtually no success we can attain in life without patience.Even though we live in a jet age where everyone is in a hurry to succeed,patience is still indispensable.
We require patience to face the rigors of acquiring the relevant education,skills we need to get wealth.Even in the corporate and business sector,success does not come easily,we need to patiently endure,strive hard to achieve our goals.
Beloved,we cannot succeed in any type of relationships without patience.In our dealings with family,spouse,children,parents,friends,patience is indispensable.This is the reason why impatient and intolerant people often have problems in their relationships.Therefore cultivate the habit of been patient with everyone and in every situation,and you will surely succeed.Cheers!!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

COURAGE TO SAY NO!

The inability to say "NO" at the right time has led to so much frustration and at times grave consequences in the lives of many.Some people just find it difficult to say no to certain categories of people;for some it is the opposite sex,for others it is friends and relatives they cannot say no to.They end up doing things that are clearly against their conscience and wellbeing.
Below are some of the people or thing to say no to:
1,SAY NO TO BAD FRIENDS:Many lives have been ruined due to negative influence of friends.Most bad habit like drug addiction,alcoholism,prostitution are usually trace to peer group influence.
2,SAY NO CORRUPTION.
3.SAY NO ALCOHOLISM.
4SAY NO TO DRUG ADDICTION.
5,SAY NO ANGER AND BITTERNESS.
6,SAY NO ENVY AND JEALOUSY.
7,SAY NO TO DIVORCE AND BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS.
Finally,examine yourself to discover your area of weakness,and learn to say no at the right time.Do not be afraid to hurt some people in the process,as long as you are doing the right thing you will not regret your action.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

DO YOU WANT TO MOVE FORWARD?

Some people have become frustrated because of certain limitations in their lives.Which aspect of your lives do you desire a more rapid progress? It could be in your finance,your career,your education or even your relationships.
First,IDENTIFY the area you really need to move forward and start planning how to achieve your desire.
AVOID PROCRASTINATION:there is always the tendency to delay taking certain decisions that maybe beneficial or otherwise to our lives .Therefore whatever needs to be done for you make progress should be done without delay.For instance,if you need more education for a better career do it,if you need to work harder in your relationship for you to have success,please do it
STOP BLAMING OTHERS; take responsibility for your mistakes:IF you really desire to move forward,stop pointing accusing fingers at others,as those responsible for your problems.Blaming others for your problems will only make you bitter and more frustrated.
DO NOT GIVE UP:Remember,that winners never quit,therefore be determined to move forward no matter the obstacles on the way.Avoid people and situations that would discourage you.
DO HANDOVER THE SITUATION TO GOD;The almighty God is the "unchangeable changer" He change every negative situation in your life.
Finally,I encourage you to be determine to move forward physically,financially,maritally,and in every other area of your life that you desire rapid progress.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING!!

Money! money!almost every activity in the world is geared towards getting money.Our daily lives,struggles is directly or indirectly link to money,to the extent that daily, many lives are being enriched while others are destroyed because of money.No wonder the bible says that money is good and also says that money is the root of evil.
Here let us dwell on certain facts about money:
1,Money is good:This is very correct because there is hardly anything in this world that you do without money.Many people have died because of lack of money for proper medical attention,some have even starved to death because there was no money.Others are struggling and in misery daily due to poverty.Therefore to have sufficient money is good,and something for everyone to strive for.
2,Money cannot buy you happiness:There are so many rich but miserable people all over the world.Having money does not translate to happiness.A man that is rich but have poor health and poor relationships may not be a happy man.Therefore we must not only strive to have money,but make the necessary effort to be in good health so that we can enjoy the money,in addition,cultivate good relationships with family,friends and everyone we are in contact with, this is beneficial for our general wellbeing.
3,Money cannot buy true love:It is a sad thing for some people to erroneously believe that they can have any man or woman they desire because of their wealth.Even if you succeed,such relationship will never last,you will only end up with a feeling of being used without the joy and satisfaction that true love brings.
4,Money cannot guarantee peace:Many people believe that all the problems in their lives will just vanish as soon as the have a lot of money and so they strive and strive to become rich.Sadly,many become disappointed when this is not the case.In fact,having too much money has its own peculiar problems.
5,Finally,money is not everything:Do not become a slave to riches.There are so many other ways you can make positive impact to in family and the society at large without using money.Use your talent,show love and be committed to enriching your lives and that of others physically,spiritually in addition to utilizing your money wisely for the benefit of all

Sunday, July 18, 2010

BE HAPPY NOW!

So many people go through life unhappy because they tie their happiness to the availabilty of one particular need in their life.This need can vary from the little issue of lack of finance to more complex issues of getting a life partner and children.One thing is certain,as long as we live,there would always be problems;as one problem is solved another might surface,therefore to postpone ones happiness because of unsolved problems could mean that the person might go through life unhappy and unfulfilled.
The following are some keys to happiness:
1,Do not dwell on the problems:Some people have the habbit of constantly thinking and analysing their problems turning an otherwise minor issue to "giant" problems.The ideal thing is for you to focus on the solution and not the problem because there is always a solution to every problem.
2,Count your blessings:No matter your state right now I am sure there are still some good things in your life.Just look around, there is always something to be grateful for,no matter how insignificant it seems,the fact you are alive and able to read this article is enough to be happy for.
3,Put your trust in God:Commit everything into the hand of God who is more than able to give you peace and strenght to face the challenges in life.
Finally,remember that problems are part of life,therefore be happy now!Your happiness should not depend on your blessings but on God.Cheers!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

FORGIVE! FORGIVE!

An adage says that "to err is human but to forgive is divine"this is very true in many perspectives.Many people find it very difficult to forgive,for some,they can only forgive their loved ones,any other person who offend them is in trouble;for others they can only forgive after been pacified by the offender.For some they pretend to forgive but use every available opportunity to "get back"at the offender.
In every relationship;family,friendship,colleagues etc we must imbibe the spirit of forgiveness in other to maintain and sustain such relationships.Forgiveness is necessary for the following reasons:
1,Forgiveness helps us to nurture and sustain relationships.Many broken homes,friendships,business partnerships could be traced to the inability of those involved to forgive one another in times of conflicts,which is inevitable in every relationship.So many marriages end up in divorce due to intolerance and unforgiveness.
2,Forgiveness is good for our health and general well-being.The happiest people are usually those that have the ability to overlook so many offences and forgive others, wherever they find themselves-home,office,school etc Any body bearing grudge is never trully at ease especially when he sees or think of the offender.Such bitter thoughts and anger is capable of injuring their health.
3,Unforgiveness hinders progress;For us to make rapid progress in life we must have a forgiving nature.No man is an island,no matter how intelligent or gifted you are, you still need the support of other people to reach greater heights.Therefore you must nurture your relationships,learn to forgive one another.
STEPS TO FORGIVENESS:
a,Identify those who have hurt you.Ask God to give you the grace to forgive them.It does not necessarily mean going back to the statoscope of your former relationship,which is good;it means releasing them from that "cocoon" of bitterness in your hearts.
b,Do not dwell on past offence,if possible arrange a one-to-one dialogue with them to advoid future occurrence.Have an honest discussion and be ready to admit your own mistakes.
c,Remember that nobody is perfect,we are all bound to make one mistake or another,do not have an unrealistic expectation of people.Therefore,forgive so that others will forgive you too.Above all, the almighty God commanded us to forgive so that our sins will be forgiven.So,forgive!forgive!

Friday, June 4, 2010

ANGER IS DESTRUCTIVE

Everyone gets angry occassionally,but for some,anger is a way of life.Some people get angry at any slight offence,for some their anger is uncontrollable,whichever category you belong,please realise that anger is destructive.
1,ANGER CAN DESTROY YOUR HEALTH:Excessive anger has been kmown to adversely affect good health.Headaches,insomnia,hypertension are some of the ailments that can easily develop as a result of frequent anger.Therefore,if you desire good health and sound mind,curb that anger today.
2,ANGER CAN DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIPS:A few minutes of uncontrollable anger can destroy a relationship built for many years.Many of the broken relationships,divorce could be link to anger on the part of one or both partners.An issue that would have been resolved amicably is often escalated when anger set in.Families,friendships have been torn apart as a result of anger.
3,ANGER CAN DESTROY REPUTATION:Good reputation build over a period of time have been shattered in moments of uncontrollable anger.The "madness" exhibited in such moments have been know to make people change their opinion of you.
4,ANGER CAN DESTROY YOUR LIFE:Many lives have been lost because of anger.Some people have become murderer because they could not control their anger.
Finally,do not allow anger to destroy your life,stop that anger before it stop you.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

How to handie a stubbon spouse

Every human being has a measure of stubboness in him/her,but in some people, it so deep rooted in them that it creates a lots problems in their relationships.And in marital/courtships relationships one must learn how to handle such partners in other to avoid frustrations and even break-ups.
1,LOVE-true love that is kind,enduring should be enforced to overcome the various temptations that manifest as a result of stubboness in relationships.
2,PATIENCE-patience is often said to be a virtue! and there is no better time to demonstrate this than when handling a stubbon partner.
3,MASSAGE THEIR EGO-most stubbon people are proud!you have to emphasis their good qualities instead of reminding them of there points at any opportunity,pay them compliments,correct them in love when you are certain that they are wrong,do not go about reporting them to their friends and family members.
4,UNDERSTANDING-make it a priority for you to undrerstand him/her.Study his/her moods,determime when to talk on important matters in other to avoid conflicts.
5,PRAYER-always commit you spouse and every member of your family to God in prayer.God can change anybody.And as you pray for him or her it is easier for love to continue to grow no matter the challenges.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Three "P"s of Relationships

The extent to which we succeed in life depends on our ability to cultivate healthy and beneficial relationships.
This varies from our relationship with our spouse, children,parents,friends,colleagues and even our neighbors.No man is an island,therefore we must have one form of relationship or another which are often beseiged with diverse problems.
Here, let me share with you three time-proven ingredients for successful relationships:
PATIENCE-This is one word that people often use but fail to apply propally.Every human being has good qualities,but also have inbuilt weakness that are detrimental to relationships.For instance your spouse could kind,generous but ill-tempered; your child could be brilliant,loving but very stubborn etc.Therefore we must live and associate with one another with love and patience.You cannot change the other person overnight,and remember that as you are hoping for positive changes in the attitude of those close to you,they too are expecting the same from you.Patience is a virtue!
PERSISTENCE-We know that it is not easy to relate with so many people particularly in the family,but we must persist in doing and saying the right things no matter the level of provocation.We must persist in showing love even when it seems not to be reciprocated.We must persist in correcting our loved ones no matter how difficult they may seem.We must persist in doing good in other to reap at the right time,for the bible says: "And let us not be weary in well doing;for in due season we shall reap if we faint not"(Gal 6;9)
PRAYER-Prayer is the key to success in every aspect of life.God can change anybody.He can change that stone-heart person to become a loving, gentle person.Learn to pray for everyone you are involve with; your spouse.children,family,friends,colleagues,friends etc and you with time you will notice a great transformation in your relationships.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

DIVORCE IS NOT THE ANSWER.

In recent years,the rate of divorce all over the world has increase tremendously.The reasons given varies,infedelity,domestic violence,incompatibility are some of the reasons given for suing for divorce.But is divorce really the solution? NO!Before you even think of it the following are "wisdom keys" that will put your marriage back on the right part.
1-Identify the main problem:we must understand that every marriage/relationship has its own perculiar problems,there is no relationship without problems.Your willingness to identify your own problem and your ability to deal with it, will determine the success or failure of your marriage.
2-Honest Communication between couples.This type of communication must be devoid of anger,bitterness and suspicion for it to have the desired result.For instance if you have already made up you mind that your spouse is the one at fault, you are not likely to have meaningful communication.Both partners must be ready to point out each other's area of weakness and they must be ready to take corrections.
3-Patience and tolerance is an indispensable ingredient for a successfull m
arriage.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

kiss and tell relationships

The latest trend in the western world,mostly in USA and Europe is for women who have had amorous relationships with some male celebrities to expose them to shame and ridicle.I totally agree that they deserve the ugly treatment they receive in other to forestall future occurence.But what I don't understand is why these shameless women who knowly went into relationships with these men are suddenlly turned into celebrities for revealing dirty secrets.These women should be treated with the scorn they deserve,because they are as,or even more guilty for having relationships with these adultrous celebrities.It is time the media stop celebrating evil.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

mature singles

In this blog we shall be refering to spinsters and bachelors over twenty five years of age as mature singles ready and willing for marriage but no partners in sight.Do not be discouraged,get yourself ready physically,spiritually,economically because for you to meet the right partner,you have to be one first.
what are the problems you are facing?

Monday, May 3, 2010

Why are so many marriages breaking up?
1-Wrong foundation
2-Infidelity
3-Financial problems
4-Interferance from family and friends
5-Intolerance and lack of communication
6-Prayerlessness and lukewormness to spiritual matters.

About Me

I have always had this passion to counsel.In fact counselling others in relationship issues-courtship,marriage,family matters have always given me immense joy.I am a practising christian,and my values are basically on the xtian way of life.From childhood,my mother aways told me that I have the gift of wisdom and as I grew and become mature emotionally and spiritually I knew it was true.My becoming a mature xtian in the pentecostal fold has enabled me to realise my potential.I have written over twenty articles in the "Christian Digest"magazine of The Redeemed Christian Church of God Lagos Nigeria.
I am married,a professional in the maritime industry in Nigeria.
Welcome to my blog! Be a part of it,you will be glad you did.

Relationships Problems?Ask Stella Oladiran