FORGIVE! FORGIVE!

An adage says that "to err is human but to forgive is divine"this is very true in many perspectives.Many people find it very difficult to forgive,for some,they can only forgive their loved ones,any other person who offend them is in trouble;for others they can only forgive after been pacified by the offender.For some they pretend to forgive but use every available opportunity to "get back"at the offender.
In every relationship;family,friendship,colleagues etc we must imbibe the spirit of forgiveness in other to maintain and sustain such relationships.Forgiveness is necessary for the following reasons:
1,Forgiveness helps us to nurture and sustain relationships.Many broken homes,friendships,business partnerships could be traced to the inability of those involved to forgive one another in times of conflicts,which is inevitable in every relationship.So many marriages end up in divorce due to intolerance and unforgiveness.
2,Forgiveness is good for our health and general well-being.The happiest people are usually those that have the ability to overlook so many offences and forgive others, wherever they find themselves-home,office,school etc Any body bearing grudge is never trully at ease especially when he sees or think of the offender.Such bitter thoughts and anger is capable of injuring their health.
3,Unforgiveness hinders progress;For us to make rapid progress in life we must have a forgiving nature.No man is an island,no matter how intelligent or gifted you are, you still need the support of other people to reach greater heights.Therefore you must nurture your relationships,learn to forgive one another.
STEPS TO FORGIVENESS:
a,Identify those who have hurt you.Ask God to give you the grace to forgive them.It does not necessarily mean going back to the statoscope of your former relationship,which is good;it means releasing them from that "cocoon" of bitterness in your hearts.
b,Do not dwell on past offence,if possible arrange a one-to-one dialogue with them to advoid future occurrence.Have an honest discussion and be ready to admit your own mistakes.
c,Remember that nobody is perfect,we are all bound to make one mistake or another,do not have an unrealistic expectation of people.Therefore,forgive so that others will forgive you too.Above all, the almighty God commanded us to forgive so that our sins will be forgiven.So,forgive!forgive!

ANGER IS DESTRUCTIVE

Everyone gets angry occassionally,but for some,anger is a way of life.Some people get angry at any slight offence,for some their anger is uncontrollable,whichever category you belong,please realise that anger is destructive.
1,ANGER CAN DESTROY YOUR HEALTH:Excessive anger has been kmown to adversely affect good health.Headaches,insomnia,hypertension are some of the ailments that can easily develop as a result of frequent anger.Therefore,if you desire good health and sound mind,curb that anger today.
2,ANGER CAN DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIPS:A few minutes of uncontrollable anger can destroy a relationship built for many years.Many of the broken relationships,divorce could be link to anger on the part of one or both partners.An issue that would have been resolved amicably is often escalated when anger set in.Families,friendships have been torn apart as a result of anger.
3,ANGER CAN DESTROY REPUTATION:Good reputation build over a period of time have been shattered in moments of uncontrollable anger.The "madness" exhibited in such moments have been know to make people change their opinion of you.
4,ANGER CAN DESTROY YOUR LIFE:Many lives have been lost because of anger.Some people have become murderer because they could not control their anger.
Finally,do not allow anger to destroy your life,stop that anger before it stop you.

How to handie a stubbon spouse

Every human being has a measure of stubboness in him/her,but in some people, it so deep rooted in them that it creates a lots problems in their relationships.And in marital/courtships relationships one must learn how to handle such partners in other to avoid frustrations and even break-ups.
1,LOVE-true love that is kind,enduring should be enforced to overcome the various temptations that manifest as a result of stubboness in relationships.
2,PATIENCE-patience is often said to be a virtue! and there is no better time to demonstrate this than when handling a stubbon partner.
3,MASSAGE THEIR EGO-most stubbon people are proud!you have to emphasis their good qualities instead of reminding them of there points at any opportunity,pay them compliments,correct them in love when you are certain that they are wrong,do not go about reporting them to their friends and family members.
4,UNDERSTANDING-make it a priority for you to undrerstand him/her.Study his/her moods,determime when to talk on important matters in other to avoid conflicts.
5,PRAYER-always commit you spouse and every member of your family to God in prayer.God can change anybody.And as you pray for him or her it is easier for love to continue to grow no matter the challenges.

The Three "P"s of Relationships

The extent to which we succeed in life depends on our ability to cultivate healthy and beneficial relationships.
This varies from our relationship with our spouse, children,parents,friends,colleagues and even our neighbors.No man is an island,therefore we must have one form of relationship or another which are often beseiged with diverse problems.
Here, let me share with you three time-proven ingredients for successful relationships:
PATIENCE-This is one word that people often use but fail to apply propally.Every human being has good qualities,but also have inbuilt weakness that are detrimental to relationships.For instance your spouse could kind,generous but ill-tempered; your child could be brilliant,loving but very stubborn etc.Therefore we must live and associate with one another with love and patience.You cannot change the other person overnight,and remember that as you are hoping for positive changes in the attitude of those close to you,they too are expecting the same from you.Patience is a virtue!
PERSISTENCE-We know that it is not easy to relate with so many people particularly in the family,but we must persist in doing and saying the right things no matter the level of provocation.We must persist in showing love even when it seems not to be reciprocated.We must persist in correcting our loved ones no matter how difficult they may seem.We must persist in doing good in other to reap at the right time,for the bible says: "And let us not be weary in well doing;for in due season we shall reap if we faint not"(Gal 6;9)
PRAYER-Prayer is the key to success in every aspect of life.God can change anybody.He can change that stone-heart person to become a loving, gentle person.Learn to pray for everyone you are involve with; your spouse.children,family,friends,colleagues,friends etc and you with time you will notice a great transformation in your relationships.

DIVORCE IS NOT THE ANSWER.

In recent years,the rate of divorce all over the world has increase tremendously.The reasons given varies,infedelity,domestic violence,incompatibility are some of the reasons given for suing for divorce.But is divorce really the solution? NO!Before you even think of it the following are "wisdom keys" that will put your marriage back on the right part.
1-Identify the main problem:we must understand that every marriage/relationship has its own perculiar problems,there is no relationship without problems.Your willingness to identify your own problem and your ability to deal with it, will determine the success or failure of your marriage.
2-Honest Communication between couples.This type of communication must be devoid of anger,bitterness and suspicion for it to have the desired result.For instance if you have already made up you mind that your spouse is the one at fault, you are not likely to have meaningful communication.Both partners must be ready to point out each other's area of weakness and they must be ready to take corrections.
3-Patience and tolerance is an indispensable ingredient for a successfull m
arriage.

kiss and tell relationships

The latest trend in the western world,mostly in USA and Europe is for women who have had amorous relationships with some male celebrities to expose them to shame and ridicle.I totally agree that they deserve the ugly treatment they receive in other to forestall future occurence.But what I don't understand is why these shameless women who knowly went into relationships with these men are suddenlly turned into celebrities for revealing dirty secrets.These women should be treated with the scorn they deserve,because they are as,or even more guilty for having relationships with these adultrous celebrities.It is time the media stop celebrating evil.

mature singles

In this blog we shall be refering to spinsters and bachelors over twenty five years of age as mature singles ready and willing for marriage but no partners in sight.Do not be discouraged,get yourself ready physically,spiritually,economically because for you to meet the right partner,you have to be one first.
what are the problems you are facing?

Why are so many marriages breaking up?
1-Wrong foundation
2-Infidelity
3-Financial problems
4-Interferance from family and friends
5-Intolerance and lack of communication
6-Prayerlessness and lukewormness to spiritual matters.

About Me

I have always had this passion to counsel.In fact counselling others in relationship issues-courtship,marriage,family matters have always given me immense joy.I am a practising christian,and my values are basically on the xtian way of life.From childhood,my mother aways told me that I have the gift of wisdom and as I grew and become mature emotionally and spiritually I knew it was true.My becoming a mature xtian in the pentecostal fold has enabled me to realise my potential.I have written over twenty articles in the "Christian Digest"magazine of The Redeemed Christian Church of God Lagos Nigeria.
I am married,a professional in the maritime industry in Nigeria.
Welcome to my blog! Be a part of it,you will be glad you did.

Relationships Problems?Ask Stella Oladiran